In case you live blissfully in a cave, far from the reaches of “civilization” – don’t ever leave – the Golden Globes were last night. But if you’ve came here to find out who won want, or why any of these people were even there, you came to the exact wrong place because I have no clue. What I do know is that lots of them posed for a shitload of pretty red carpet photos that years of data has told me you’ll probably want to look at instead of doing work and/or facing the everyday grind of reality. This is the service we provide. This our gift.